“HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools: Of Roman history, great Niebuhr’s shown ‘Tis nine-tenths lying. Faith, I wish ’twere known, Ere we accept great Niebuhr as a guide, Wherein he blundered and how much he lied.” – Ambrose Bierce